“Are you lost, baby girl?”

Just when I thought nothing could ever topple 50 Shades of Grey in how outrageously ridiculous and trashy the entire fantasy was, Netflix scoffed and threw 365 DNI into the world.

Before watching this show, the only Massimo I knew of was… the bread loaf.

After 365 DNI, Massimo is no longer something that satisfies hunger pangs, but straight up inspires thirst instead. Don’t get me wrong, the movie is still thoroughly terrrrrible in all ways possible but eye candy is ultimately eye candy.

That hotel suite scene with the telescopic rod? Yoooo–like, is that whole setup portable or is that a Sicilian Mafia family special? Asking for a friend, of course.

If you haven’t seen 365 DNI yet, I don’t recommend watching it in the family room.