So… my sister just casually mentioned there’s an outbreak of Japanese Encephalitis over in Victoria.
That’s plague, war, and pestilence.
Guess famine’s coming real soon with the wheat shortage.
Category: daily
My mother just shamed my cloud latte “art” (by art I mean it’s really just a blob of foam sitting in the middle of my cup).
She pointed to an article in the paper and said, “Look. Aunty in old kopitiam* also can make star shape.”
The shame is real.
*literally translates to “coffee shop”
Cybersecurity expert on phishing: “Did you receive the email at an unusual time? If you receive an email outside of normal business hours, this is a red flag.”
Guess everyone in ad agencies are potential scammers.
I’m not religious at all but at this point in time I can’t help but wonder if we’re just sitting around waiting for the other two horsemen to show up.
Categories
Sibling cysts
Me: Okay like my sore throat is lingering
Me: But I tested again today
Me: I r still negative
Me: Maybe my bitch ass of a cyst just takes awhile to resolve and I’m like OMGITSCOVID
Sis: Is this cyst in your throat or something?
Me: By the base of my throat, it’s like… a sensitivity check
Me: So the minute my lymph nodes are a little puffy, the cyst fomos
Me: “Hey guys where the party at??”
Me: ?
Sis: The cystie boys be jigglin ???
Sis: I’ve got a small cyst in my throat – called a vallecular cyst or something
Sis: It’s not genetic is it? ???
Me: Oh mine’s a thyroglossal cyst
Sis: Same same but different
Sis: Like delta and omnicron ?
Me: Oh oh bear guess what day it is today
Me: It’s… TWOSDAY
Me: Get it???
Me: Because 2/22/22 😀 and Tuesday 😀
Bear: ?
My funny has gone unappreciated.
Because of COVID, every other brush with it lands you in isolation/quarantine (traveling back home, close contact, etc). I’ve barely been in the country for a month and I’ve already been in isolation/quarantine for half that time.
I should’ve stayed out of the country.
On the bright side, I’ve gotten really good at swabbing my nose and throat for the test kits. It’s like a deranged science experiment of sorts.
You know how parents love to talk about how successful their children are when Chinese New Year rolls around?
Well my parents associate these three keywords with me in every story they tell: weed, yoga, and crypto.
I’m basically a hipster/druggie degenerate gambler to everyone they know.
Watching the WSB community rally over GME has got to be the most epic thing to happen in 2021 (so far!). It’s truly amazing: they went from buying billboards to adopting animals en masse.
Won’t even lie, the animal adoptions and legendary memes are probably the coolest things the degenerate crayon eaters have come up with.
Am I the only crazy person who watches their parcel delivery progress?
I feel like I’m on an adventure with my parcel as it traverses the continents.
Quarantine has obviously not been kind to my imagination.