Me: Oh oh bear guess what day it is today
Me: It’s… TWOSDAY
Me: Get it???
Me: Because 2/22/22 😀 and Tuesday 😀
Bear: 🤦
My funny has gone unappreciated.
Category: shorts
Because of COVID, every other brush with it lands you in isolation/quarantine (traveling back home, close contact, etc). I’ve barely been in the country for a month and I’ve already been in isolation/quarantine for half that time.
I should’ve stayed out of the country.
On the bright side, I’ve gotten really good at swabbing my nose and throat for the test kits. It’s like a deranged science experiment of sorts.
You know how parents love to talk about how successful their children are when Chinese New Year rolls around?
Well my parents associate these three keywords with me in every story they tell: weed, yoga, and crypto.
I’m basically a hipster/druggie degenerate gambler to everyone they know.
Watching the WSB community rally over GME has got to be the most epic thing to happen in 2021 (so far!). It’s truly amazing: they went from buying billboards to adopting animals en masse.
Won’t even lie, the animal adoptions and legendary memes are probably the coolest things the degenerate crayon eaters have come up with.
Am I the only crazy person who watches their parcel delivery progress?
I feel like I’m on an adventure with my parcel as it traverses the continents.
Quarantine has obviously not been kind to my imagination.
Jin: Btw I goat
Me: Okay
Me: Only in Malaysia can you say “I goat” and someone replies with “ok”
Jin: Hahaha
Backstory: the word “coming” (in the context of being “on the way”, or “coming over”) is sometimes written as kambing (for no other reason than because it sounds similar), which is the Malay word for goat.
I learned something new in a daily affirmation room on Clubhouse yesterday (I swear I was the only Asian): people say “grand rising” instead of “good morning”.
“Grand rising, kings and queens!”
Somehow it’s 150% cooler when a black person says it.
When I say it, it just sounds like I’m talking about a Chinese restaurant.
Categories
The worst kind of clock
To the perpetually lonely bird making weird cooing noises for the past 3 hours: NOBODY LOVES YOU. GO AWAY.
Categories
It’s a curse of some sort
Why are all the people who own online (expensive) jewelry stores exceptionally difficult to work with?
It’s just this one specific niche.
I recently started HIIT again.
Not going to lie: the first week was devastating, both physically and spiritually. I felt truly unfit for the first time in a very long time… something along the lines of, “I THOUGHT I WAS FIT FFS WTF IS THIS HOW AM I A TOTAL SHITTER???”
It is now the third week and I’m happy to report that my body has remembered what it feels like to be tortured.
All is right again in the world.